Premature Evaluations 2009 - Kansas City Chiefs

For all of the attention given to Josh McDaniels's arrival in Denver, perhaps we're all missing on the true establishment of the Patriots West movement because, as they say, real bad boys move in silence and violence. For the Kansas City Chiefs, silence is certainly nothing new. Nothing interesting has happened in Kansas City since LJ was a shiny new toy that Herm Edwards had not yet broken. This is different, though. That silence was an end product, the result of a lack of innovation or talent. This silence feels more like a system in and of itself, not a boring office job but life at the KGB. You can thank Comrade Pioli for the new attitude. For the most part, Belichick's disciples have sought to imitate the least important aspects of his persona, choosing his system over his ability to create systems that match talent. Judging from his moves this offseason, Pioli gets it. The swagger isn't the result of some formula; it's what allows the formula to be created.

Not that Pioli is the only new arrival on this team to have some juice to throw around. Todd Haley is fresh off of turning a team with a so-so defense and no running game into a conference champion . Matt Cassel, meanwhile, evolved faster than any first time starter in recent memory, leading the Pats to an 11-5 record and showing flashes of the same smug resentment that turned Tom Brady into TOM BRADY. If this isn't a match made in heaven, I'm not sure what is. Haley created a spread offense second only to the 2007 Patriots, and his current team has the kind of underrated receiving talent that the Pats used to win championships with (Bobby Engram is perpetually underrated, and Dwayne Bowe only gets overlooked because he entered the league with Megatron). Sure, Denver may have gotten the man who created the system, but Haley is the next best thing, and potentially better thanks to the constant lack of any sort of running game.

The defense is equally intriguing. True, it's a bit of a mish mash of personnel, with DT Glenn Dorsey not built for a 3-4 system and rookie Tyson Jackson seems built to pass rush in the 3-4, but judging from Pioli's track record (and picking up vets like Zach Thomas and former Patriot Mike Vrabel are nothing if not a throwback to the glory days) the new GM has a knack for constructing systems to make the most of freakish, if mismatched talents. Dorsey, touted as the best player in last year's draft, is nothing if not freakish, and the possibility of a defensive attack showing varied looks with this mix of savvy and sheer athletic ability could make for one of the most interesting defenses in the league for sheer novelty.

And yet with all of the changes, this season will be won or lost with a look to the Chiefs past. At the center of this team's hopes for this season is Larry Johnson, still crazy after all these years. For all the evidence to the contrary, there's no denying that Johnson has proven he can be the kind of elite back that Pioli, Haley, and Cassel have never really worked with. In 2005, he rushed for 1750 yards on a stunning 5.2 yards per carry. In 2006, he rushed for 1789 yards and broke the record for rush attempts in a season, consequently ruining himself for the next year. But despite what you've heard, Johnson isn't gone past the point of redemption; he still managed a healthy 4.2 yards per carry when healthy last season with no credible passing game thanks to the QB shuffle of mediocrity Herm Edwards utilized. The new kids in town are great, but for the Chiefs to be anything other than a rebuilding project this year, they need to make sure that in

Premature Evaluations 2009 - St. Louis Rams

Let There Be Light (album version) - JUSTICE

For a minute, it really looked like he should give up on NFL football. After all. the arena leagues seemed built for a player that combined athleticism with a knack for quick work under center. Besides, nobody was taking a chance on a wandering outcast. It had been years since he’d gotten so much as a sniff of life under center in the pros. Maybe the people at Home Depot were right; maybe it was time to give up on struggling for stardom and embrace settling into a hyper talented blandness. Except nobody, not even his strongest doubters, could shake that nagging talent. It was there, in every quick release, in ever gutsy play brought back from almost certain failure. He had the gift, plain and simple. So when the Rams finally took a chance on him, and everyone doubted it, secretly both team and player knew; this was what he was born to do. And he did it. Play by play, he turned a lifeless team embodying a lifeless city into a fireworks display that America could not take its eyes off of. It was beautiful, and all the more so because nobody would have believed it if they hadn’t seen an outcast wander into town and change everything.

I’m talking, of course, about Kurt Warner’s history in St. Louis. Kudos to you for getting it. I’m also talking about why Michael Vick needs to be in a St. Louis Rams uniform next year. Shame on you for missing it.

Face facts, St. Louis residents, Marc Bulger robbed you all blind. The man is terrible at making decisions under pressure, which was all he saw once LT Orlando Pace officially started to break down last season. The result was an endless montage of watching Marc Bulger die at the hands of big, angry pass rushers. Meanwhile, while we were all watching Marc Bulger's snuff film, what went almost unnoticed is just how talented the Rams are on offense.

I'm not even talking about "man, just wait until they get there" talent; I'm talking about ready to roll, hitting their strides firepower. WR Donnie Avery, who I said looked like the next Steve Smith, did nothing to prove me wrong, throwing up ridiculous numbers for both receptions and yardage for a receiver of his size. Across the field and toiling in obscurity are the veteran Dane Looker and the promising young gun Keenan Burton, with the latter showing consistency down the stretch and hinting that the Rams may have a potent one-two punch in the passing game for years to come. Oh, and then there's RB Steven Jackson, who should be in the conversation of most versatile feature backs in the league and yet somehow gets a rep for being soft. Dude put up over 1400 total yards in an injury shortened season where he STILL managed to have the 11th most rushing attempts in the league. But yeah, he should probably decorate cakes or something.

And all of this is useless in the hands of Marc Bulger. The man makes an excellent still photograph of a quarterback, but that's about it, and if this isn't an offense built for a dynamic, versatile threat under center, then there is no offense built that way and Brian Brohm should start for every NFL team. Michael Vick, on the other hand, adds a third head to this beast. All of a sudden, Jackson's ability to catch out of the backfield turns him into a potentially deadly dump off target when pockets collapse. Think Avery and Burton couldn't wreak havoc on defenses suddenly forced to stay home for fear of Michael Vick torching them for a first down? Yeah, I know the man killed dogs, but this is St. Louis, where the cameras haven't been looking since Kurt Warner left the building; nobody will care after about two weeks…unless, of course, Vick does what he's already shown he can do and turns an otherwise directionless offense into a constant scoring threat.

I haven't even talked about the defense, but any front line with Chris Long, Adam Carriker, and Leonard Little could get the job done if only they didn't have to be on the field after every four offensive downs. The point is that last year, in a division that was widely agreed to be the most boring in football, the division champ wound up in the Super Bowl thanks to offensive flash and the same puncher's chance that everybody gets in the playoffs. This Rams team has the potential to be better…MUCH better. If there's any place better suited for Michael Vick, once the most popular and fun to watch player in football to make a reentry into the mainstream, it's on this team, where the quiet has kept all the tools he needs to succeed hidden for far too long.

Premature Evaluations 2009 - Detroit Lions

This year, we're traveling from the bottom to the top, checking out each team's prospects, stories, and roles in the greater story of the league along the way.

Sisyphus has nothing on Calvin Johnson. Megatron, as he's better known to those who mourned him last season, was the league's fifth most productive receiver in terms of total yardage. Dude had 1331 yards, not to mention tying for a league best 12 touchdowns. Oh, and he put all that up catching passes from Fat Daunte, Drew Stanton, Dan Orlovsky, and Jon Kitna. Adjusting for that, the man should have had enough yardage to circle the globe at least once. Every play, the attention of the opposition rested squarely on Johnson's shoulders, and time after time Johnson, rather than acting as a decoy for an offense with nobody capable of capitalizing on such a plan, relied on his talents to overcome the very defensive schemes created to make them irrelevant. Outside of Larry Fitzgerald, there may not be a more thrilling player to watch than Megatron, if only because he is the rare skill player that can create plays entirely on his own.

And yet 0-16 still happened. As undeniably as last year was Johnson's breakout year as an elite receiver, it was also the nadir of the Detroit Lions as an organization. The Lions were within ten points of their opposition in fewer than half of their games. Roy Williams, for years having been the good soldier, practically wept with joy when he became a Dallas Cowboy. In fact, one can point to the beginning of the Lions' slide into despair in 2007 as the point when Megatron really emerged as a dominant player. The better Johnson has played, the worse the team has become. It's like Godzilla; he only comes out when the radiation is at its most toxic. The question, then, is whether or not reaching rock bottom can finally align a team with its greatest individual talent.

If the 2009 offseason means anything (and it probably doesn't, but Detroit needs a fever dream something fierce), the answer might be yes. Finally, after years of holding an entire city hostage, Matt Millen is gone. LT Gosder Cherilius is entering his second year of development, and with the addition of OT Jon Jansen should receive some valuable veteran help on the line. Kevin Smith returns after a rookie season in which he ran for almost 1000 yards and 4.1 yards per carry. Perhaps most importantly, Jim Schwartz, who turned the Tennessee Titans defense into THE TENNESSEE TITANS DEFENSE has his sights set on getting his team to win some battles in the trenches. Not bad, even if 0-16 means "not bad" includes a lack of obvious physical injuries.

But it's the draft that spoke volumes on where this team is going, and where it needs to go, and where its attentions and affections must remain if it is ever going to turn things around in the next couple of years. Make no mistake, as questionable as the Matt Stafford pick is, and as strange as the Brandon Pettigrew pick struck those believing that defense needed to come first, those picks were all about rebuilding the city that once was Detroit around it's new Megatron overlord. With an arm to find him anywhere on the field (whether in Stafford or in a reportedly lean and mean Culpepper, who could stun people thanks to a reunion with the offensive coordinator that made him a household name), and a legitimate threat to stretch the middle of the field and force defenses into some kind of honesty in tandem with the improving ground game, Calvin Johnson may finally have all of the pieces around him that he has so desperately needed. Forget the best player of his draft, Megatron may be the best player of the last three drafts. If the defense can provide a little support (and under Schwartz, one would have to imagine it will), then maybe, now that this offense has realized that Johnson is not a building block but instead a monolith, the Lions can turn things around sooner than anyone expected. After all, the NFC North isn't exactly a murderer's row (the best team there is still letting Tarvaris Jackson run the show…which is admirable for its commitment but the wrong move for a win-now franchise). Cliché time, but on any given Sunday, would you like to be the defensive coordinator up by less than seven and facing an offense boasting one of maybe three receivers that can ruin your day with one play? Sure, the playoffs aren't a sure thing,but are they ever? And considering that the schedule has gotten much, much easier (0-16 will do that to you), is it crazy to think that this team could win its divisional matchups and crawl into the dance?

Yes, it is crazy. But you know what, maybe crazy is excusable, considering I've been staring into the Megatron youtubes all day. Lions to the playoffs. This is the season my belief in the individual tailored system lives or dies.

And now, in two years, this will probably be an adult site.