[At Jon Gruden’s new job…]
Jon Gruden: YOU F**KING F**KS THINK YOU’RE GOING TO F**KING GET BY WITH THAT SH*T?!?! THIS HORSESH*T COULDN’T FERTILIZE A HORSESH*T TREE ON A HORSESH*T ORCHARD!! WHAT THE F*CK MADE YOU THINK THIS WOULD BE F**KING OK?!? YOU A**HOLES WANT ME TO F**KING LET THIS BY, LIKE THIS PURE UNADULTERATED SH*T SHOULD BE TOLERATED ON ANY F**KING BODY’S F**KING WATCH, LET ALONE MY F**KING WATCH?!? I OUGHT TO STICK MY FOOT SO FAR UP YOUR SS THAT I CAN F**KIGN USE YOU AS A F**KING TOE PUPPET!!! YOU SH*TF**KERS
Child at Disney World: (/whimpers) But…but…I thought I was tall enough to ride space mountain…
Manager: This isn’t going to work, Jon.