Shit shit fuckity FUCK FUCK!!! Did you people SEE this?!?!? It’s the end of the world!! HOW COULD MANAGEMENT MISS THIS!?!
We let VICTOR HOBSON go to the Pats!?! NOOOOO!!!
Seriously, just shut it down, guys. Turn the lights off at the practice facility. Coach Mangini, thanks for all the big moves this offseason, but you need to just cancel the season. It’s for the best; how will we ever be able to compete for a playoff spot with New England now that they’ve got a linebacker who only had a few more tackles than a player who was injured for half the season? Who’s going to fill the gaping hole left on defense? You think it’s easy to just find someone to run into the offensive line and get knocked down time and time again? IT’S NOT! That’s why we bring in specialists like Victor Hobson!
And now he’s gone.
Damn you Bill Belichick! Damn you and your crafty ways!! Don’t think I don’t see your brilliant plan in action. You’re stealing away not only the pride and joy of our defense, but you’re using Victor Hobson’s intricate knowledge of our highly effective defense to give you inside information. And it’s brilliant. You've truly dealt the death blow in our little rivalry. Clearly, getting Victor Hobson is the key to knowing how the Jets defense works. I mean, just look at his performance last year; obviously, the man knows how to run our system to perfection. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve been planning this all along, which would explain how an elite talent like Victor Hobson could appear, to the naked eye, to be so damn mediocre. All along he was gathering information to take to the Patriots. I should have known!!! WHY COULDN’T WE HAVE TREATED VICTOR HOBSON WITH THE RESPECT THAT VICTOR HOBSON DESERVES!?!?
Seriously, I’m tearing down my Victor Hobson poster, burning my Victor Hobson jersey, and resigning from my membership in the Victor Hobson fan club.
This must be what it feels like to lose a child.