Catching Up With: JaMarcus Russell
From time to time, we at TiT are able to get a quick, exclusive interview with some of your favorite NFL stars. Today, we sit down with overweight Oakland Raiders quarterback JaMarcus Russell.
TiT: JaMarcus, thanks for taking the time to sit down with us. Obviously, this has been a very big offseason for you as next year’s potential starting quarterback for the Raiders. What have you been up to?
JaMarcus Russell: I’ll tell you what, man, I’ve just been hangin around, relaxin, but mostly trainin with my workout partners over this here offseason.
TiT: I see. Well, obviously, some have questioned your conditioning, particularly in light of recent reports about your weight. Exactly who are your workout partners?
JaMarcus: Now, see, that right there is the kinda thing that just bothers me, because people don’t understand the kind of coordination and teamwork that goes into my trainin regimen as a franchise quarterback.
Jared Lorenzen: Hey, Jamarcus, we’re fixin to have our pre-dinner now, so you fixin to be done here anytime soon?
JaMarcus: Ah, here comes my offseason fitness teammates now. Yo, Jared, hold up man, I’m fixin to be done here in a minute, and I KNOW y’all are taking all the corn casserole before I get there if y’all start without me.
Shaun Rogers: Man, I ain’t waiting for this skin n’ bones pretty boy. I just got $20 million guaranteed dollars that say I ain’t got to never be hungry again!
JaMarcus: Yo, Shaun, I said HOLD UP!
Pac-Man: CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP
Kirby: (/inhaling) WHOOOOOOOOOOSH!
JaMarcus: Well chomp suck back atcha, but y’all are gonna have to wait till I’m done here.
Pac-Man: (/folds backwards on self) WAH-WAH-WAH-WAH BINKBINK
Byron Leftwich: Yo, I’m here, I have no job, I have no reason to participate in any physical exertion, and there is a full pre-pre-dinner snack on the table.
Jared Lorenzen: Actually, that’s a pre-dinner.
Byron Leftwich: Pfffft yeah maybe if you’re a bitch.
Jared Lorenzen: (/folds backwards on self) WAH-WAH-WAH-WAH BINKBINK
JaMarcus: Oh hell no I need to go or he’ll finish the table and start eating the couch cushions in five minutes.
Thanks for your time JaMarcus!
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6 comments:
Do everyone a favor and just stop. There's nothing less funny than someone who isn't funny trying to be funny. None of this is funny.
Fail.
i agree, this is not funny
With all due respect, what else should you do with yourself when Al Davis drafts you? Randy Moss tanked, and now he's catching bombs from Tom Brady. Only thing to do there is to tank enough until they cut you and you can get onto a real team.
it was funny
I'm going to go ahead an add my vote for funny. When do we get the results from the internet whether this was deemed funny or not funny enough for internet? Actually, I'm pretty sure the first comment was made by that big Puerto Rican guy from your first stand-up routine in Hialeah, and the second one is our cousin Andy. Keep up the good work.
-Cal
should have added Lendale White and Mike Williams.
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