TiT Correspondent Super Bowl Pick 'N Move: Aaron Rodgers

In preparation for the biggest game of the year, some of the cast of characters that frequent TiT are going to be stopping by with their thoughts and picks for the games (yes, we know KSK did this, but dammit we're not letting our characters go to waste). Today, Packers backup QB Aaron Rodgers.


What’s that? Who do I think is going to win the Super Bowl? I don’t know, why don’t you go ask the fucking golden oldie who you think is going to win? He’d be the most interested, seeing as the league is paying for his first class ticket to get there. That’s right, first fucking class. Why the fuck is that assclown getting a first class plane ride to the Super Bowl? I don’t even think he knows what a plane is; I’m pretty sure they still think they’re just big, noisy birds in Mississippi. Same thing with black people; that old asshole has been asking Greg Jennings all year where in Green Bay he goes to “get a tan like that.”

I seriously want to bludgeon him to death with his own helmet, which he STILL makes me polish. Dick.

What, did the Giants pay for his ticket out of gratitude for handing them the NFC Championship? Don’t act like you sycophants didn’t see that shit; “Well shucks, gawrsh, and golly, did I just do somethin’ bad?” Yes, you cousin fucking hillbilly, you did. You can’t just “toss it up ‘n hope one ‘o them speedy black fellas does somethin’ fancy with it;” they have to be OUR speedy black fellas. So how about you try not throwing to the guys who aren’t wearing the ugliest fucking uniforms in the league? Does that work for you, or is that not “gunslinger” enough to keep all those Wrangler wearing Favre fan clubs that double as lynch mobs happy? “Thank gawd for Favre!” Yeah, thank God for that, right? I mean, it’s not like we’ve got a first round QB on the bench who could make just as good use of a top tier receiving corps and an offensive line that pass blocks as well as anyone in the league. We’re totally better off with the good ship mid-life crisis under center.

What a fucking joke. Did you know that asshole once told me he wanted to commit a murder just so he could “meet Matock”? I normally don’t wish carbon monoxide leaks on people, but in this case I’m making an exception.

Seriously, do you people not get it yet? I am the FUTURE and you cocksuckers need to get in the Rodge Lodge. But no. Instead, we’re gonna sit here for another two months and wonder what he’s gonna do next year. Oooooh, you think he’s gonna retire? Get a fucking clue. Why, so he can spend more time with his two ugly children? Hey, Deanna Favre, great fucking job on all you’ve accomplished. No, not the cancer foundation, I mean the ability to pop out two inbred looking children without actual inbreeding. It must feel good to have snagged such a prize, though, right? I mean, Brett Favre could be snorting painkillers off of anyone’s ass, and instead he chooses you. People are right, you’re an inspiration to women.

I fucking hate my life.

Anyway, I don’t know who the fuck is gonna win that game. I’ll say Pats, 42-31. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going into downtown Green Bay to find me a bitch, which means I need to get my harpooning gear ready.