Sunday, December 9, 2007

Stepping in It

How do teams get to 0-13?

By sucking mightily.


Quentin Moses just threw up a little into his mouth (AP Photo/David Duprey)

I'm not going to make any excuses. Last week the Dolphins made Kellen Clemens look like the second-coming of Joe Montana. This week? Trent Edwards passes for all of 165 yards and throws for 4 TDs. We gave the Bills superior field position by coughing up the ball 5 times. Tedd Ginn Jr. our "break out special teams player" averaged 0.8 yards per punt return…not that the Bills were punting much.

What happened to the Miami D?! Being slightly past the sell-by date is no excuse! What happened to Cam Cameron's "offensive genius?" Did it go the way of Brian Billick's (i.e. into witness protection)? I've NEVER seen a team so mismanaged, so inept in every way you can be inept (they even sit on the bench ineptly), and I've seen the Falcons play twice this season.


The Dolphins have been so bad this season it reminds me of the dolphin slaughters in Taiji, Japan just slightly less difficult to watch.

Hayden Panettiere (the cheerleader from Heroes) has made saving the dolphins from slaughter her cause of choice.

"It was really frightening," Panettiere said. "Some of us were hit by the boat hook. But in the end, all we really worried about was the dolphins."

"One little baby dolphin stuck his head out and kind of looked at me, and the thought that it's no longer with us is really difficult to take," she said, tears streaking down her face.

This is precisely how I felt when John Beck got benched.

Seriously. You put a rookie behind a suspect line, with NO run support (that's not really Cam's fault, and I maintain that Ricky got injured on a c-h-e-a-p shot), tell him he's your one shot at not being the worst team ever, pull him after 3 series and you've got a potential psychological meltdown on your hands. Exhibit A: Joey Harrington, pretty much every season. That's the sign of a desperate coach, and if you're keeping score at home, desperate coaches don't last long.

Smell that Cam? Who ever knew a pink slip smelled so much like dog poo?

3 comments:

Knicks Legal Counsel said...

My friends and I were talking football after yet another Dolphins loss and saying how it would be awesome to be in Miami because football tickets are so easy to get.

Nate said...

I do agree it is Cam Cameron's fault but have you actually seen John Beck play? The boy acts like he has never seen a football before every time the ball is snapped and he doesn't know that when big men from the other team are chasing him that it is not a good idea to sit aimlessly in the pocket. Having seen several BYU games over the previous two years i can say that Beck played the same way in college, but just against much worse teams.

Alex said...

Aside from the nationally televised poo fest that was Dolphins/Steelers, I haven't had a chance to watch John Beck play much—not a lot of national/barroom interest in the Dolphins lately, if you catch my drift. But if you blow a high pick on a guy, say he's your guy, and have already used up your "I'm a rookie coach" get out of jail free card, you've got to take your lumps.