Monday, December 3, 2007

Monday Hangover: 12-3-2007

No intro this week, because I’ve got finals coming up. It’s funny how sitting in front of a computer all day on three hours of sleep will turn an educated, clean looking young man into a twitching mess with a scruffy beard and a strange habit of talking to himself. When I walk around outside wearing my Jets jacket, I look less like a fan than I do a homeless guy who found a warm coat.

The games…

- Oh, what’s that Jason Taylor? The Jets suck? Wow, that means a lot coming from a guy who’s about to go down in history as the face of the only winless team in the modern scheduling era. Seriously, I like the guy, but he really needs to just lay back and enjoy the ride at this point. That team isn’t winning this year. It’s not his fault, but he’s the most popular player on the league’s worst team (NOT the Jets…YAY!). A lot of people talk about how his competitive fire is admirable, given his team’s dismal season, but at what point is the guy just a dick and a sore loser?

- Vince Young threw a good game, and spread the ball around well to get the Titans a much needed win over the Texans. More importantly, it seemed like the Titans found a balance in their offensive attack that was sorely missing the last couple of outings. Don’t worry though, I’m sure Merril Hoge got plenty of notes at his Klan meeting this weekend on ways he can try and label VY a bust, even though he’s the only reason that team has a shot at getting to the playoffs.

- Staying in the AFC South, that Colts-Jags game was one of the most entertaining games I’ve watched all season. Tony Dungy found innovative ways to keep the Jacksonville defensive front guessing as to where the attack was coming from, culminating in a shovel pass to Luke Lawton that led to a game saving touchdown. Meanwhile, Jack Del Rio was a tipped pass away from brilliantly beating the Colts offense the only way anyone can really do it: Keeping them off of the field. Add to that a quarterback duel that did more to cement the status of David Garrard as a top tier quarterback in the NFL than any win he’s had this season, and I can’t wait to see both of these teams come playoff time.

- Just when you think Kansas City can’t get any more boring, meet Tyler Thigpen! The NFL network should use footage of the Chiefs quarterback competition in lieu of a test pattern.

- I made a joke about him last week, but after watching Aaron Rodgers step in for Brett Favre and not miss a beat, two things struck me: First, why the hell do announcers talk about him like he’s a bust when he hasn’t even had the chance to play? I get it, guys, Brett Favre’s foreskin is delicious, but the Packers didn’t use a first round pick on Rodgers and keep him around at that salary because they needed a towel boy. Second, is there something to this “sit your QB of the future for a few years” thing? Instead of immediately throwing a potential franchise QB into the fire too early, maybe coaches should look at the careers of Romo, Garrard, and Rodgers and compare them to those of Cutler, Leinart, and Smith, two of whom are in real danger of losing their jobs as team starters. At least those two have backup talents though, with Smith having his smarts, and Leinart having his unprecedented douchebaggery to fall back on.

- On that note, Kudos to Lane Kiffin for not forcing his number one draft pick into a can’t-win situation. If that team picks up a solid lineman in the draft, it will improve by leaps and bounds once they insert an experienced, well honed Russell in, as opposed to the shaky improvement they might see by throwing him under the bus early.

- I know that Sean Payton could do anything short of re-exploding the levees and still keep his job, but does he realize he got outmaneuvered by an offense consisting of Earnest Graham (EARNEST GRAHAM?!?), Luke McCown (it takes a lot to be the untalented McCown brother), and Joey Galloway (who would like you kids to get off of his lawn). What the hell was that double reverse play that cost them the game going to do anyway? Having an offensive player who doesn’t fit ideally in a conventional offense doesn’t mean you shouldn’t know how to run a conventional offense to keep a lead, guys.

- I’m going to regret saying this later, I’m sure, but I’m done flip-flopping on the Steelers. I’m buying. If Ward can perform at the consistent level he showed last night, this team has the second downfield threat that I thought it might lack.

- Cincy had better hope that Kenny Irons is good, because otherwise they’re going to enjoy the basement of the AFC North for the next couple of years.

- The only reason I can see for the NFL not allowing review of any play where you can get a replay, as evidenced by the debacle at the end of the Browns-Cardinals game, is that they enjoy having their refs get expletives yelled at them.

- We should all chill out on Joe Gibbs making a bad mistake at the end of that Bills-Redskins game. He had a rough week, in case you forgot.

- Who actually went to the 49ers-Panthers matchup on Sunday? Is there any reason for anyone to be excited about those teams? The Panthers are just mediocre enough to miss out on drafting the significant playmaker Steve Smith so clearly needs. Meanwhile, the 49ers’ pick is going to ensure that the Cheaters remain on top of the league for the next five years.

- Look, I don’t like the whole “we market certain stars” system of the NFL, but I appreciate that it’s a business. So bearing that in mind, who the hell is the merchandise mover on the Seattle Seahawks? Lofa Tatupu is so obscure that I’m pretty sure I just misspelled his name, and how do you pull off a Shaun Alexander or Matt Hasselbeck jersey without announcing to the world that you’re a giant douche? Do they even sell mike Holmgren t-shirts? Also, as a matter of principle, do those shirts come in any size with less than two X’s involved?

I seriously have no time for an intro, an outro, or a competent hangover this week. I promise it’ll get better soon. In the meantime, keep an eye out for some good content this week. Also, if you’re visiting the site, and you haven’t friended Alex or I on the Facebook yet, well, I guess you don’t want this to be anything more than a superficial relationship after all.

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