Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Wait, that ain't the SAME black quarterback?


Oh country fried shit, there goes that quarterback of ours, Byron Leftwich. Wait, that ain’t Leftwich? Well where the hell is that boy? IN ATLANTA? Why that no good sumbitch ingrate! We made him! See, that’s the kind of attitude you don’t get when you draft a…traditional...quarterback.

What? It’s true! I ain’t saying you can’t have a black quarterback; them fellas make for some great trick plays. Just incredible athleticism, those guys.

Anyway, who in the bluest of blue hells is our quarterback? David who? What do you mean he started last year? I was watching every game and I never noticed a difference between our quarterback. It all looked the same to me; just drop back, pass, dropped pass. That’s what you get with these new…trendy…quarterbacks. They’re like hosses, but they just can’t control they’re natural God given athleticism. Gift and curse, like they say, one of them blades with two sides.

So, this boy David looks alright, I suppose. Wait, what? He ain’t in the game no more? How’d he get hurt? I bet he was trying to make one of them highlight reel plays outside of the pocket. That’s just what happens when you let these…flashy…quarterbacks just run hog wild in the pocket. No discipline. No control. They need to be focusing on book learning and not relying on their instincts all the time. Their animal instincts.

What?!? Don’t gimme that look! That ain’t racist; I got a lot of black friends, and I watch that Mencia fella. He's always joking about minority problems and such.

So if this Jarrard fella is hurt, what in in the sweet southern molasses is going on down there? We make a trade to get Byron Leftwich back? Wait wait wait, you’re saying we got ANOTHER quarterblack under on our team?!? Jeebus Del Rio, are you running an offense or a high priced big brother program!? Well, I give up on trying to tell these fellas apart. Just slap one jersey with one number on them and I’ll know to root for "black guy". Too bad they don't sell that jersey at the souvenir shop.

Damn I am glad I live in Jacksonville. Sweet old southern hospitality Jacksonville.

Wait, the new fella completed a pass! Well now THAT is a beautiful thing. Bet Matt Jones taught him to do that this week. All heart and devotion to making the team better, that guy.

No comments: